I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
is that a dick in a sweater?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
