He disabled his match.com account in front of me
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
