Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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