i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
