I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize