thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
What did we do last night that was yellow?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
