Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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