Someone shit on the floor
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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