Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
