I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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