Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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