I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
