what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
