Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
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She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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