Screwed.edu
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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