...so i touched it.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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