im holly from the hills drunk
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize