he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
