Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
