You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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