don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
