Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
