I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
