i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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