My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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