also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
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Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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