She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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