her facebook's as public as her vagina
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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