Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
