Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
