I hate your face
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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