then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
