I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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