Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
