You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
