I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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