Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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