32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
