"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
