Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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