are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
