Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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