and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
