This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
