I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
