I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
