all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
