My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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