so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
