I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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