And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
