Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
