I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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