Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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