You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
