I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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