I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
