new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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