it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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