I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
