I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
