Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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