I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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