ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Me. At least after what I've been through.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
