In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
