He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
