i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
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decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
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It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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