i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
