"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
